FEBRUARY 2006

February 9, 2006
Hello, this is Long Skirt.
In order to find material to glean some ideas from, I watch several famous films from around the world every day.
But because I have so little time to spare, I watch them in four times fast forward without audio.
Am I rushing it too much?
So, today I was watching some romantic films on DVD at the usual four times fast forward speed for about an hour when my heart started to pound and my face started to blush.
A strange feeling began to rise up from deep within my chest. A hot and bittersweet sensation...

!!!

Is this the manifestation of the passions of a young maiden who's over the age of thirty?

!!!

Uh, pardon me.
Toilet > Bowl > Barf! > Sink > Rinse mouth
Excuse my rudeness.
I really seem to be prone to motion sickness.
So recently I have decided to take anti-carsick pills before starting any fast forward screening.
Oh, the tears...

February 16, 2006
Hello, this is Long Skirt.
The clever and witty Matty definitely received six bona fide chocolates on Valentine's Day.
He has been extremely busy with work lately. He gets home well past midnight, and, aware of the noise it would create, has avoided running his washing machine. To say it all, his washing machine doesn't run anyway, ever since the connector between the tap and the machine burst apart. As a result, his laundry has been piling up.
So, the first thing he said when he got to work was:
"I kind of smell today..."
The explanation is simple: the clothes Matty had been wearing for an embarrassing consecutive number of days without being able to wash them had finally started to stink the day before, and by now they totally reek.
So that's when I suggested he use Feb*eze.
"Please!!!"
He answers, readily agreeing, with an eager sparkle in his eye. So, I take him out into the corridor, make him close his eyes and mouth and nose as I douse him with a full dose of Feb*eze.
Psst! Psst! Psst! (Note: The sound of the Feb*eze)
What can I say?
It was the first time that I have Feb*ezed any sentient being directly, and although the experience left me with strange and mixed feelings, the subject Matty was now fully enjoying his new sweet fragrance of a floral bouquet.
It is his 25th birthday today.
Congratulations, Matty!
As birthday present, I'll give you money for the coin laundry, so how about you go and wash at least the stuff you're wearing to begin with?